Breaking News

1. Maximum and Minimum Size Changes: Effective today, lobsters will be measured via a new metric gauge. The minimum size for lobsters taken in Region A (the area surrounding Cape Anne, Boston Harbor and Cape Cod Bay) is now 82.55 millimeters. The maximum size is 127.00 millimeters. New metric gauges are available at area dive and sporting goods stores. The DMF has announced a zero tolerance policy for non-metric gauges. Any lobsters measured with anything other than the mandated metric gauge will be considered illegal catch and subject the person in possession to punishment pursuant to 322 CMR 6.01.

2. V-Notch Changes: Effective immediately, the term "v-notch" shall be changed to "Capital A-notch" in order to eliminate confusion and to bring Commonwealth of Massachusetts nomenclature into uniformity and conformity with other English speaking people. In that the right flipper adjacent to the middle flipper " is examined when the underside of the lobster is down and its tail is toward the person making the determination," the Department of Marine Fisheries has closed a longstanding loophole in the provision. Until this revision was enacted, no v-notches were seen, as any notch observed according to the criteria would in fact look like an "A." In addition to the plainly logical approach taken by DMF in this matter, a spokesperson, who asked to remain anonymous, commented, "Look at it this way. After you waste half your tank fighting with a nice bug only to find the Capital A-notch, you can now say "F***in' A!" instead of "F***in' V," which really made no sense, and required explanation in Revere and Medford.

3. Bag Limit Changes: In order to complete the transition from Imperial measurement (inches) to Metric measurement (millimeters) the DMF found it was necessary to adjust the so-called bag limit, which had previously been set at 15. Using the conversion formula taught in all US Public schools since 1967, 5/9 * (x - 32) the DMF will now observe and enforce a metric bag limit of -9C.